PB First Lines February 2024 Edition

Featuring Roxanne Chester

Welcome to the February 2024 edition of PB First Lines!

I'm so glad you're here. 

If you have a book coming out in 2024 and you’d like to be included in a future collection, fill out one of these forms!

This month, I’m excited to have Roxanne Chester share the revision journey of the first line of her book, This Is My Bag: A Story of the Unhoused, art by Abraham Matias.

The first line of the book is:

This is my bag.

It didn’t change from the original draft. You may have heard about writing thoughts as soon as they come. Well, this first line came immediately upon waking up. I try to always have a notepad and pen on my nightstand to catch ideas!

I love the first line because it starts with the central idea of the story (homelessness), hints at a universal theme (shared humanity), is arranged as a simple and direct statement, establishes a rhythm, and makes the reader wonder what comes next.

The spread reads:

This is my bag. It holds my life. My thoughts. My art.                                

I don’t remember any suggestions or changes to the initial line/spread. However, subsequent lines evolved to incorporate couch surfing, homeless shelters, and tent cities. With the editor, I flushed out sensory details. For example, a couch became "soft,” an alley became "musty,” or a walk became “in the shadows of tall buildings.” 

With my bag, I move.                                                                                                             Through the busy streets.
To a friend’s house.
And a soft couch.
Where I rest.

Writing the manuscript was a wonderful exercise in being open to input while also staying true to my voice and vision. 

Revision tip: Don’t let those great first lines escape: always keep a notebook handy! You’ve heard this a million times, but here it is again: you won’t remember that great idea—write it down. And this of course goes for *any* revision idea, not just ideas for your first line.

Happy revising!